🐺 The Big Bad Wolf Stakeholder
- D.B Trench
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
A PMTales Creature Story
The Big Bad Wolf Stakeholder didn’t appear on the invite.
He never does.
He materialized halfway through the meeting, smiling warmly, camera on, microphone slightly too loud, saying everyone’s name like he’d practiced them in advance.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “I’ll be quick.”
This was the first lie.
The Entrance
The Wolf complimented the deck immediately.
“Love the clarity here,” he said, nodding at Slide 3.“Very aligned. Very mature.”
People relaxed. This was a mistake.
He asked no questions about scope.
He praised the roadmap.
He thanked the team for their flexibility before anyone had offered any.
Then he leaned back.
“So,” he said casually, “what would it take to deliver this… a little sooner?”
The room went quiet in the way rooms do right before something expensive happens.
The First Huff
A junior PM tried to answer with data.
The Wolf smiled wider.
“Oh no, this isn’t a challenge,” he said.
“I’m just thinking out loud.”
He inhaled.
Not dramatically.
Not obviously.
Just enough.
Milestones shifted.
Dependencies blurred.
Someone volunteered to “take a look offline.”
The Wolf nodded approvingly.
“See? We’re already aligned.”
The Puff Phase
The Wolf returned the following week with enthusiasm.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “If we just adjust the timeline slightly, we could also include that one thing Legal mentioned.”
A product owner tried to push back.
“Well, that would technically be out of scope—”
The Wolf puffed.
Not hard.
Just enough to move the air.
The word technically was removed from the minutes.
A new swimlane appeared on the roadmap, unlabeled.
The Big Huff (Executive Edition)
By the third meeting, the Wolf brought friends.
“Just observing,” he said, as three executives joined silently and turned their cameras off.
The Wolf inhaled deeply.
This time, the huff was structural.
Budgets flexed.
Dates compressed.
Risks were “noted” and then emotionally set aside.
Someone said, “We’ll figure it out.”
The Wolf exhaled satisfaction.
“That’s the spirit,” he said. “I knew this team was different.”
The Collapse
The collapse didn’t happen all at once.
It arrived in calendar invites.
A “quick sync” at 7:30 a.m.
A “working session” with no agenda
A retrospective scheduled before delivery
The Wolf watched calmly as teams compensated for decisions they hadn’t made.
When the deadline finally arrived — early, ambitious, and unrecognizable — the Wolf sighed.
“Well,” he said gently, “no one could have predicted this.”
Everyone stared at him.
He smiled kindly.
The Exit
The Big Bad Wolf Stakeholder left the project shortly after.
He thanked everyone.
Praised the effort.
Mentioned “great learnings.”
He moved on to another initiative.
Some say he’s there now, asking one small question.
Breathing deeply.
Tag a teammate who’s survived a Big Bad Wolf Stakeholder.
What was their huff?
DB Trench
