The Risk Register That Was Declared “Negative”

The Risk Register arrived on the agenda at exactly 10:42 a.m., which was already suspicious.

No one schedules risk before lunch unless they plan to kill it.

The PM watched as the slide appeared:

RISK REGISTER — Q3 UPDATE

Green checkmark. Green border. Green everything. A small celebratory icon in the corner that looked like it had been added by someone who had recently completed an online course.

The Executive Sponsor leaned forward.

“Before we begin,” they said, “I just want to level-set that we’re not here to introduce new risks today.”

Several heads nodded immediately. One person nodded twice, just to be safe.

The PM opened their mouth.

The PM closed their mouth.

The PM waited.

A Director cleared their throat. “We’ve made excellent progress since last quarter. I’d say our risk exposure has actually… decreased.”

The PM glanced at the actual risk register.

Supply chain volatility: unchanged.

Vendor dependency: worse.

Integration testing window: fictional.

Regulatory review: currently held together by a calendar invite and optimism.

The PM raised a hand slightly. Not fully. Just enough to show willingness without triggering alarms.

“Just to clarify,” the PM said, “these risks still exist. We’ve mitigated some elements, but—”

The Sponsor smiled gently, the way people do when explaining gravity to a child.

“Yes, but perception-wise,” the Sponsor said, “they’re not really risks anymore.”

The PM blinked.

Another executive jumped in quickly, sensing danger. “I think what we’re saying is that documenting them at this level creates unnecessary concern.”

A VP nodded. “Exactly. When things are written down, they tend to… travel.”

The PM scrolled to the next slide, which had already been edited without their knowledge.

TOP RISKS (ARCHIVED)

Archived.

Like artifacts. Or extinct species.

“Can I ask,” the PM said carefully, “what changed operationally that reduced these risks?”

There was a pause. A long one. The kind where Outlook reminders quietly expire in the background.

Finally, someone said it.

“We talked about them.”

The PM wrote it down in their notebook.

Mitigation Strategy: Group Discussion

The Sponsor leaned back. “Look, risk is important. We all agree on that. But too much focus on it can slow momentum. We’re in a delivery phase now.”

The PM looked around the table.

Delivery phase.

Still missing requirements.

Vendor contract unsigned.

Test environment living in hope.

A Director gestured at the slide. “Also, green status helps with governance optics.”

There it was.

Optics.

The PM tried one last time. “If we remove the risks from the register, they don’t stop happening.”

The Sponsor nodded patiently. “True. But they stop being escalated.”

The room exhaled as one.

A miracle.

The Risk Register was officially declared negative.

Not incorrect.

Not incomplete.

Negative.

The PM was instructed to “clean it up” before it went to the steering committee.

Which meant fewer words.

Less red.

No verbs.

As the meeting ended, the Sponsor clapped their hands.

“Great session, everyone. I feel really good about where we are.”

The PM saved the file.

RISK_REGISTER_v7_FINAL_FINAL_GREEN.pptx

Outside the boardroom, reality continued exactly as before.

The dashboard stayed green.

The risks stayed real.

The project stayed “on track.”

PMTales Moral (Never Written Down):

If a risk cannot be eliminated, it can always be rebranded.

If this feels familiar, PMTales documents how projects survive inside modern governance.

No handbook. No shared definition of “done.”

Just project managers adapting to systems that reward confidence over clarity —and calling it progress.

— DB Trench

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